Articles by Suzanne

Winter-2001
Finding Peace in Troubled Times

In light of the recent tragedy of September 11th and the fact that the season's holidays are upon us, I have been inspired to write this article on my relationship with Mary, the Blessed Mother, in hopes that it will bring some peace to those who choose to read it.

About 2 years ago Mary began working with me on a personal level, 'right in my face', as I refer to it, concerning one specific subject. I didn't realize it at the time, but I know now that she was preparing me for some upcoming events. Her mission was to enlighten me about 'emotional non-reactivity'.....her words, not mine.
 

For many years now, I have been working with Mary through a healing modality called MariEL. Having Mary right in my face was something new, however. She has, since the time she appeared to me 13 years ago, worked closely with me for others, but my personal relationship and devotion to her has only been heightened to the level at which it is today in the past couple of years.

Mary has never forced herself on me. Rather she has always been patient, slowly nurturing our relationship, respecting my timing and agenda. On countless occasions I would be guided by Mary to stand back from a personal situation that would present itself, and be the watchful-observer, the 'fly-on the-wall', if you will. I marveled at the fact that such a thing was happening to me as I am usually an emotional reactionary when a personal situation occurs that impassions and inspires me. Only when it hit home hard did I understand for what reason the preparation had occurred.

In February I received an e-mail from my eldest son informing me that he was in 'rough shape' and needed my help. I alluded to this event in an article I wrote for the summer issue of my newsletter. Without elaborating, I flew to Colorado armed with what Mary had been teaching me, knowing full well that I would be put to the ultimate test with this one.

For the first 4 days I managed to stay detached from the trauma with which my son was living and felt really good about the fact that I was able to be present for him by loving him without judgment. On the 5th day after dropping him off at work, I fell apart. I sobbed all the way back to his home and spent a few hours crying, praying, and communing with Mary.

By the time I picked Craig up at the end of his workday, I had found peace and was able to tell him of my experience. He proceeded to inform me that he had asked me to be with him not to solve his problems, feel sorry for him, or bail him out of the trouble he had created. He simply wanted me to be his mom, love him, and be there for moral support. How profound that was for me. Craig was speaking the same language Mary had been teaching me. I started to get it.

In April I flew to Bosnia with the Marian Messengers to spend a week in Medugorje. In 1981 six children in that village witnessed the appearance of the Blessed Mother on a nearby hillside. The area is a Mecca for pilgrims and devotees of Mary who still appears daily to 4 of those children, now adults.

On the last full day before we were to leave for home, 3 other women and I trekked up Cross Mountain and stopped along the way at each Station of the Cross, taking turns reading 'Mary's Way of the Cross'. This little unassuming booklet pulled together for me the year's worth of personal work for which Mary had been preparing me.

On each beautiful bronze fresco of the 14 Stations of the Cross appeared the tiny image of Mary, standing far in the background. Her words written in the text of the booklet told of her helplessness in the face of her son's pain and torture along his path to Calvary. All the while, Mary never wavered. She was the ever-present constant in Jesus' journey. The only thing she could do for him was to be his mom, love him and be there for moral support. This time I REALLY got it!

Sometimes there's nothing we can DO about a situation or event. Sometimes when we feel helpless, we just have to BE; 'be there' loving, not judging, morally supporting. In our helplessness, we are forced to our knees to surrender and with that surrender comes peace.

Mary has been my teacher, friend and always present, loving mother. While in the midst of an anxiety attack one night, over-stimulated by the crisis and peril of our nation, I temporarily 'lost' Mary. A friend reminded me that, although I had lost Mary, Mary never lost me.

Journal entry ◊ April,17, 2001 ◊ Medugorje, Bosnia-Herzogovrzogov
"Today I saw the sun spin!"  

After spending all night and most of a day traveling via train, plane and bus, 32 of us, tired and weary pilgrims with the Marian Messengers, finally and excitedly arrived at the Martin House in Medugorje. We quickly gathered up our luggage, less than patiently (oops! "this is a pilgrimage, NOT a tour") received our room assignments, deposited our bags, and hurried off to St. James Church to be present for mass. This mass is held during the time of the daily apparition of Mary, the Blessed Mother. My companions and I didn't know what to expect but we were ready, having anticipated just this event for weeks. We were finally here....we had arrived!

The church, which stands out in this little village because of its enormous size, was overflowing with villagers and pilgrims. Unable to get inside, we stood near a beautiful statue of Mary that dominates the courtyard and listened to the broadcast of the service over the speaker system that can be heard throughout the village and beyond. We noticed that people were staring up at the sun. That's when I remembered having read about the miracle of the sun....one is able to stare at the sun without damaging the eyes and see it spin, radiating brilliant colors of orange, red, yellow, gold and pink. It had recently rained and to confirm that we weren't hallucinating, the colors were reflected on the slick tiles of the courtyard as they changed. It was breathtaking. We stood aghast at the wonder of that miracle.

But Medugorje isn't about the sun spinning. Medugorje is about the message that Mary has brought (and continues to bring) to the world for the past 20 years through her daily apparitions to 6 village children, now adults. The message is a plea for conversion to prayer for the purpose of saving our beautiful planet and her beautiful inhabitants. Medugorje is about changing lives, about living our lives in the purest love, the unconditional love that Mary and her Son bless on all of us every moment. Medugorje is about harmony, clarity, living our lives on purpose, doing more than functioning from day to day..........BEING in love with life and all it has to offer, being in love with our divinity, the God within each of us, and finding within that divinity, that spirit, true peace. Bottom line.......Medugorje is about LOVE.  

I returned home a humbled, broken person; not broken in the sense of dispirited, but broken in the sense of enlightened. While 'over there' my emotions ran the gamut. I felt deep despair and an emptiness and loneliness I hadn't felt in years. At the same time, I felt exhilaration and ecstasy, filled to the brim with love and peace. I have been witness to daily revelations since returning, clarity I had no idea I would or could find. My devotion to Mary has reached a new depth because of an experience I shared with her while witnessing her pain through 'Mary's Way of the Cross', a remarkable version of the Stations of the Cross seen through Mary's eyes. Her unwavering devotion to her Son while watching Him suffer, always 'being there' in support of Him, and yet being totally helpless in the face of His pain, helped me realize that the strength and courage I found in a recent situation with my own son, had truly been a blessing from Mary, my teacher, the Mother of mothers.

A sense of peace continues to dominate my being, my life in reality. It deepens as the days pass by. I have made great strides in my personal life, feeling less emotionally reactive, more like a watchful observer of my own behavior in the face of every day challenges and situations. I feel older somehow.........a wisdom permeating my being that I only tasted prior to my experiences in Medugorje. Perhaps one day I'll return, but for now I'm happy to have been a part of the miracles of this beautiful place and the gifts it shares with the world, feeling changed forever at a core level, feeling like every cell in my body was finally able to let go and move into the realization that I AM truly a divine child of Light, Love and God.

Top of  Page